Death by Expertise?

She contemplates the big wide world through eyes of the deepest dark blue, her perfectly-formed coral lips curled in an endearingly mischievous smile. Her cheeks, rosy like the first flush of a red dawn, contrast sharply with the milk-white skin of the rest of her face, offset on top by the soft, dark down on top of her head, now long enough, at 12 weeks, to cover her ears. No amount of the inevitable “Kemm hi ħelwa”s can ever do justice to the joyful beauty she radiates. She is the picture of health, a captivating paean to love’s creative forces and prodding proof that God must exist.

She might never have been born. The experts, two teams of the most eminent actually, from hospitals on both sides of the Atlantic no less, counselled the parents to have the pregnancy terminated because of “an increased risk of foetal or perinatal death and a major concern for long-term neurodevelopment”. 

The problems had started four months into what had been, until then, an uneventful pregnancy. A routine ultra-sound scan had revealed a 6cm mark in the baby’s head, possibly indicative of hydrocephalus or something even more sinister.  Further tests, including a foetal MRI could not quite reveal what, and indeed if anything was actually, wrong. So the Consultant obstetrician decided to seek advice from abroad. All test–results and notes of the clinical observation were sent to a renowned UK hospital. Meanwhile, a Maltese consultant radiologist together with a Maltese consultant neurologist hypothesised that the cyst was simply the result of spontaneous bleeding.

The parents, waiting for the foreign experts’ pronouncement with bated breath, finally received the news: there was probably no brain in the foetus, and in the circumstances the learned doctors could only advise an abortion. The local Consultant then opted for a third opinion, and all the clinical material was dispatched post-haste to the USA. After a couple of weeks, the gist of the communication from across the Atlantic was a confirmation of the UK decree: we’re unsure of diagnosis, but in view of grave risk of death or grave disability, termination is recommended. 

Shaken, shocked and bewildered they certainly were, but not for one nanosecond did the parents countenance the possibility of doing away with the baby’s life. With two sets of experts practically telling them their baby was destined to be born very severely impaired, some parents would have given in to the temptation to board the next plane and have the foetus aborted as soon as possible. Not these two. Staunch in their Christian faith and in the belief in the value of all life, and steadfast in their feelings towards the fruit of their love, they vowed they would face the future - and whatever it brought with it.  As far as they were concerned, the fact that the baby was likely to be born with a most severe impairment did not diminish her worth by one iota. 

In the event, the baby was born by Caesarean section  – and it was immediately apparent that there was nothing wrong with her. At twelve weeks she exhibits perfectly normal behaviour, and according to her parents, actually seems to be developmentally slightly ahead of her siblings. Another MRI has confirmed the hypothesis that had been developed by the Maltese consultants .... and that the cyst is getting smaller. 

So, these experts were wrong, and not only in their interpretation of the clinical evidence, which, after all was the result of all too fallible human judgement in exceptionally difficult circumstances. They were wrong to advise termination. Not just because the girl turned out to be perfectly healthy. Had she been born as disabled as everybody had feared she would be, they would still have been very wrong. 

For, as even the anguished parents-to-be realised during the darkest moments when the future seemed to be holding in store an infinity of sweat, pain and tears, a human being’s essential worth does not depend on its organs ... or the lack of them. The shape, or even the presence of limbs, is neither here nor there, when it comes to assessing human value. Intelligence per se has nothing to do with the intrinsic worth of human life. It is purely and simply the fact that a foetus is, that the spark of life has been lit in him or her, that renders that human creature awesomely, supremely and loveably precious. No other considerations, be they physical, emotional, psycho-social or economic can ever supersede the primacy of human life, at whatever stage of development it is. 

Those foreign experts, their science informed by values central to a culture which prioritises health and psycho-social and economic well-being over life itself, had no qualms advocating the suffocation of human life in order to spare the parents and the yet-to-be-born serious problems. In contrast, other medical professionals showed a commendable commitment to the life they were caring for, besides giving proof of their own professional expertise.  In societies where death is deemed preferable to suffering, where decades of acceptance of abortion have blunted intellects and emotions to the implications of error in matters of foetal killing, too many experts have little problem coolly decreeing that a foetus may die so that suffering and discomfort can be avoided.  God may have been banished from those kingdoms, but there’s someone else sitting on His lofty throne.

Those who believe that it is acceptable to sanction abortion on the say-so of experts in cases of supposed grave disability on the part of the foetus had better think again. Not only do they have no right to abort children-in–the-womb even if the foetus is truly disabled, they may actually be cutting short healthy human lives.

Expert advice is worthy of the highest consideration. Infallible, however, it is not.

Update: this article was written some 15 years ago. The girl in question continues to remain in perfect health, and is described as a lively teenager who leads a very active life.

Il-Missier il-Ħali

Kif kont kważi għaxxaqt kollox,

B’dawn idejja x’mort għamilt

Kelli kulma ridt u aktar

Imma l-gost qerried għażilt

 

F’dar missieri kien hemm kollox,

Sliem u mħabba kemm irrid

Ħbieb bir-radam iwennsuni

Kont ta’ ħajti tassew sid

 

Stajt insib min ifarraġni

Meta nibki kont neħtieġ

Kelli ’l ħija bastun fuqi.

Ħarist wisq barra mill-ħġieġ.

 

U rajt dinja attraenti

Smajt il-kant maħnuq, sfrenat.

F’lejl miżgħud kwiekeb tal-plastik

Poplu jhewden ibbażżjat.

 

Bħal farfett miġbud lejn fjamma,

Bid-dawl tagħha ipnotizzat

Insejt kollox, ħrabt ’il barra

Għat-tbaħrid determinat

 

F’dik id-dinja tal-kuluri

Għixt imdamdam bil-pjaċir

Trab mill-abjad ġo mnifsejja

Kont inħossni qed intir.

 

Milfs u escorts,  mitt elf mara

Meta ridt għal waħda tnejn,

Nissodisfa biss l-istinti,

Konsegwenzi? Ma qist xejn.

 

Ħbieb madwari bit-tużżani

Jekk f’ħaġ’oħra medhijin

Kulma ridt inħallas xarba

U bil-gzuz tarahom ġejjin

 

 Li baqagħali investejtu

Fuq il-magni ħallelin,

F’każinos, bil-pannu aħdar

Li xorbuli kull xelin

 

Fi ftit xhur il-folja nqalbet

Filli fl-għoli qalb is-sħab

Filli ħadt tisbita kbira

U spiċċajt nilgħaq it-trab.

 

Waħdi, minsi mill-ħbieb kollha,

U għalkemm spiċċaw il-flus

Bix-xorb goff ta’ nbid mill-qares

Bdejt niġġandar bħal qażquż.

 

X’ħin bil-guħ, jien bdejt nintebaħ

Li ma kontx ‘il bogħod mit-tmiem

Ftakart kif  ġo dar missieri

Hemm il-barka, ġid u sliem

 

U azzardajt naħseb li forsi

Kien hemm ċans jilqagħni hemm

Anke biss qisni barrani

Jekk id-demm qatt ma jsir semm.

 

Ma nafx kif, sibt min wassalni

mhux ‘il bogħod, fit-tarf tat-triq

Bdejt nistaqsi lili nnifsi

Se jgħajjarni wiċċi sfiq?

 

Se nisma’ ’l Missieri jgħidli

“’Ma rridekx,  itlaq minn haw’

M’għandikx dritt tissejjaħ ibni

Mur man-nisa li żgarraw’?”

 

’Qas ilħaqt ħarist lejn daru

Li ma qamx dlonk fuq saqajh

Rajtu jtir bla nifs għal fuqi

U għafasni bejn dirgħajh

 

Leħnu fgat, bid-dmugħ iġelben

Qalli “Ibni, fl-aħħar ġejt

Kemm ġrejt ‘l hawn u ‘ l hemm infittxek

Kemm għarrixt minn fuq il-bejt.”

 

Dak il-ħali ta’ missieri

Baqa’ jħobbni kull mument

Ma mpurtahx mill-ġid li ħadtlu

Ma tax każ tat-tradiment

 

Ippruvajt nitolbu skuża,

Imma hu bil-ferħ itir

Qalli “Le, maħfur għal kollox,

Imxi nagħmlu party kbir

 

Nagħmlu festa la ġejt lura

La nistgħu nifirħu bik.

Mill-mewt qomt, erġajt għall-ħajja

Kont mitluf, issa sibnik”

The King and the Saviour

Lèse Majestè

As politicians go, Joseph Muscat is not one to hold up as an exemplary figure. He conned us into believing he was an honest-to-goodness young liberal – albeit with sound values -  with a refreshingly modern, mould-breaking outlook on how to run the affairs of the nation. In truth his admirers – whose name is legion – can point to a considerable number of accomplishments few could be dishonest enough to deny. However, even some of these were achieved at a high cost, be it to the environment, to truth, to good governance, to the good name of the country and to social cohesion.

Under his watch, while for many the tenor of material life improved, the community as a whole sank into a moral morass which is threatening to suffocate our nation’s spirit.

He railed against the scandals of the Gonzi administration, and although there is no proof he actually benefitted from shady deals himself, became an arch-abettor of corruption involving his closest cronies. He portrayed himself as something of an environmentalist and destroyed a good chunk of the little his predecessors had left in open spaces, greenery and urban beauty for the benefit of the construction industry. One could go on.

All in all, you might almost be tempted to call this slick salesman of snake-oil a rather nasty piece of work. But a murderer - or even an enabler of murder - he is not.

I do not believe what Mr. Fenech told the police on his arrest, which was duly and dutifully relayed during testimony in court a few days ago. While the man accused of masterminding Daphne Caruana Galizia’s heinous killing maintained Muscat had spoken to him about the murder during the infamous Girgenti birthday bash, a text message sent by Fenech to Muscat shows there was no communication between them on that day. Fenech was almost certainly trying to muddy the waters and diffuse guilt. Then there was that remark of Fenech’s (caught on tape) that it would be madness to approach ix-Xiħ for help with staving off investigations...

Would Muscat have pardoned Theuma if he had anything to do with the murder? Keith Schembri was petrified a pardoned Theuma would spill enough beans to point to his sordid (possibly after the fact) involvement in the affair – as indeed happened. Yet Muscat practically insisted on agreeing to the pardon on his own initiative. Had he been involved, that would have been indeed dangerous: Theuma’s revelation could open a can of worms which might very well have implicated all those involved – including Muscat.

So, while Muscat is a blot on the political landscape the nation is well rid of, it would be dishonest - though undoubtedly most gratifying to those who hate him with a passion – for the former uncrowned monarch of Maltese politics, now deposed, to be blamed for involvement in that terrible deed. On the contrary, everything points to the fact that one of the extenuating factors of Muscat’s colourful tenure was the unstinting efforts he made to uncover Daphne’s killers. Six weeks after the deed, the alleged material executors were apprehended and charged – and have been languishing in prison since then. It took two years to arrest the alleged mastermind, but the police appear to have built a strong case against him. By all accounts Muscat pushed all he could for the truth about the murder to emerge.

While the most honourable thing for Muscat to do right now is to disappear completely from the political scene – a self-imposed exile to somewhere truly distant and exotic, like Andromeda, on a one-way ticket, would fit the bill admirably – he should not do so with the label of accomplice in murder stuck to his name. It is perhaps inevitable that following Daphne Caruana Galizia’s murder, the resulting welter of emotions would not only fuel opposition to the administration perceived as responsible for her death, but also cloud judgement as to the proper and fair apportioning of guilt according to just and rational criteria.

Daphne was most cruelly murdered. Justice for that deed should not entail pinning guilt on individuals, who politically obnoxious though they be, have nothing to do with the actual taking of life.

Le Sauveur

Were I a card-carrying member of the PN – something I have never been nor am likely to ever become – in the forthcoming leadership vote I would almost certainly plump for Bernard Grech.

It’s not that I terribly - or even somewhat - dislike Delia as a person. On the contrary I think I find him something of a simpatiku, someone I would quite happily get to know and discuss politics and football with over a tea or ten at the local.

Likeability in politics has its value, but only to a limited extent. Far more than whether one, on a personal level, provokes feelings of attraction in other people, what matters is the ability of the politician involved to convince that he or she is reliable; someone you can trust with decisions about your most precious belongings, indeed with the lives of the people you love most.

Most importantly, beyond the psycho-emotional level, a leader of a major political party which legitimately expects to gain power is expected to gaugeably foster enough confidence in his/her ability to eventually lead the nation. One would have to be able to attract the votes of individuals whoare not normally supporters of the party. The polls show, very conclusively, that a considerable slice of party membership is not willing to vote PN as long as Delia leads it. Even in situation where the Government’s most charismatic leader is now a disgraced non-entity, the economy is on its knees,  mass unemployment looms, and the public is clearly dissatisfied with the maladroit handling of the second wave of Covid, the PN trails Labour by a mile.

The prospect of a massive PL victory is enough to give us all the shivers. Not because there is much chance that the PL will dismantle the institutions and turn the island into some Byelarus in the Med. Abela is definitely no Lukashenko and the 80s are decades, and a huge chunk of political maturity, behind us. However, big majorities do not make for good government. We might have been spared the sleaze which characterised the first Muscat government had the margin of victory been 3,500 rather than 35,000. Arrogance is power’s doppelganger. Remember Austin Gatt’s stomach-churningly haughty statement that certain provisions need not be discussed in Parliament because the PN had a clear majority of seats?

If the PN confirms Delia, it is doomed to continuing internecine struggles (if not an actual split) and certain massive defeat in the next election. That, in itself, may be neither here nor there for many Maltese. But the prospect of a government which need never look to its laurels and feels it can plough ahead with any initiative, however tainted, because there will not be any meaningful Parliamentary opposition to its designs, should worry us all to insomnia. Every night.

Grech is not the divisive figure Delia is, irrespective of whether the accusations levelled at the current PN leader in 2017, and since, are true or not. He can command the respect of all PN supporters, especially if Delia behaves responsibly, and formally and substantially accepts his leadership, inviting his besotted followers to follow suit. Although I have to say his last media performances have been less than scintillating, Grech seems to have it in him to inspire his followers to common goals and common action.

Best of all, with him as PN leader, while the next election will almost certainly be lost, the nation will still be in a position to set its mind at rest that Parliament will not be a caricature of that institution which breathes life into a democracy.

State-Funded Homicide?

''Just a clump of cells’’ is the cliched mantra which is often intoned by those who describe themselves as pro-choice, when faced with the accusation that abortion is nothing less than the deliberate killing of a human life. But we all know - or should know – that there is a distinct human life within the mother’s womb. We should also know that this life within the womb is equipped not only with its own genetically distinct and unique identity, but also with the ability to develop all those characteristics which form a fully-fledged human.

 

Does this mean that any deliberate termination of a human life inside the mother’s womb is tantamount to homicide? If we define homicide as the deliberate killing of human person by another human person we find ourselves immediately mired in the controversy of what constitutes personhood.

One of the great debates within the abortion controversy is the question of whether, in its early stages, the zygote/embryo is to be considered a person. Personhood is not a scientific concept. If there is a human biological development which unequivocally signifies that the human life is, as from that moment, to be considered a human person we do not know what it is.

Personhood is a legal and philosophical concept. In so far as the law and philosophical ideas are changeable, so is personhood in this sense. Legally and philosophically one may ''decide'' that a human being is to be considered a person only after birth. But human intuition would rebel against such a definition: how can a particular individual be considered a person the moment he or she emerges from within the mother’s womb but not one second before? Or five minutes before or two hours, or even seventy-two hours, before? And so on.

Some would take issue with the adoption of a definition of abortion on purely legal and philosophical grounds and would ascribe personhood to all human life which is endowed with at least rudimentary brain structures.The brain starts to form quite early in the developmental journey inside the womb - at around the sixth week of pregnancy.

However, this position does not quite satisfy the argument that even within the earliest stages of human pre-birth development the individual human life carries within each and every cell the ability to develop all human tissues and organs – what is technically known as totipotency. What if it is this characteristic rather than a cerebral structure which is objectively the hallmark of personhood?

We simply do not know what constitutes personhood.  Faced with this situation the only morally acceptable position is to apply the precautionary principle:  we must take care to protect all human life which could possibly be a human person. On this basis abortion would therefore be clearly and unequivocally wrong.

(edited, for reasons of clarity and brevity, on 24th September 2021)

D

Il-messaġġ li qatt ma xtaqt naqra – imma fl-istess ħin kważi ridtu jintbagħat  għax kont naf li kienet qiegħda tbati hi u anke ta’ madwarha – wasal dalgħodu.  D, li sirt nafha iktar minn 20 sena ilu, ħadet l-aħħar nifs matul il-lejl.

Kienet ilha kwart ta’ seklu tikkumbatti max-xorb. Tieqaf, terġa’ tibda, tisparixxi għal ftit, terġa’ titfaċċa determinata li did-darba se tagħmel li hemm bżonn u se jirnexxilha. Għal ftit taż-żmien tibqa’ soda, kważi kulħadd jaħsel jemmen li issa ġabitha żewġ, u wara ftit xhur – u darba minnhom wara tliet snin u fuqhom - nerġgħu koppi.

Imbagħad, erba’ snin ilu, reġgħet ippruvat. U minn dakinhar ma missitx qatra ma’ xufftejha.

Ma kinitx xi konverżjoni bħal ta’ San Pawl fi triqtu lejn Damasku. Ma rat l-ebda raġġ ta’ dawl li għammxilha għajnejha u biddlilha l-mod kif taħseb ħabta u sabta. Għal darb’oħra kienet xebgħet tgħix maħkuma mix-xorb, u riedet terġa’ dduq il-libertà. Ippruvat. Forsi kien id-dehen li jiġi mill-munzell esperjenzi li għaddiet minnhom li wrieha li jkun aħjar jekk tibqa’ għaddejja soda, li żmien l-iskużi għadda u li kienet fid-dmir li turi rispett xieraq lejha nnifisha. U bil-mod saret bidla fiha – bidla ta’ veru.

Il-ħajja ta’ D ma kinitx xorb biss. Għaddiet minn stejjer sbieħ u koroh. Forsi bħal kulħadd, għax kollha kemm aħna kultant nifirħu u kultant nibku, kultant inġibuha żewġ u kultant ngħaxxquha. Imma din il-mara ma kinitx mara kwalunkwe. Għax wildet 3 subien, imma bħalissa hemm ħamest itfal jibkuha.

Kien hemm żmien meta ħuha – ġenitur waħdu – għal snin sħaħ ma setax ikompli jieħu ħsieb iż-żewġ uliedu bniet. D ħadet ir-responsabbiltà tat-trobbija tagħhom hi. Min-naħa tagħna konna ppruvajna nappoġġjawha kif stajna, imma affarijiet żgħar stajna nagħmlu. Kollox fuq spallejha kien. U min jaf lil dawn it-tfal (illum nisa), jaf x’biċċa xogħol għamlet. 

U ma kinitx l-unika darba f’ħajjitha li b’dedikazzjoni u mħabba ħadet ħsieb lil min kellu bżonn. Il-ġurnata minn filgħodu turi: ta’ età żgħira kienet tieħu ħsieb b’dedikazzjoni kbira membru tal-familja li kellu diżabilità serja. Anke tawha premju minħabba f’hekk. Imma għal D l-aqwa premju kien li tħaffef it-toqol ta’ min kien qed ibati.

Fil-gruppi tagħna kien hemm żmien meta kienet tiffrustrana: konna nħossu li kienet kapaċi tieqaf tixrob u ttejjeb ħajjitha, imma għal żmien twil, bħal donnu b’inkejja lilha nnifisha, kienet tara xi skuża se tivvinta biex terġa’ tibda tlegleg . Meta imbagħad kienet tkun wieqfa u għaddejja minn żmien tajjeb, kien ikun fiha għaxqa tismagħha titkellem fuqha nnifisiha b’onestà kbira u tappoġġja lill-oħrajn. Kienet kapaċi tħares ġewwa fiha nnifisħa u toħroġ b’għerf li jgħaġġbek. Bla ma taf għenet ħafna nies, l-aktar għax uriethom li, anke jekk taqa’ elf darba, jekk tibqa’ tipprova fl-aħħar jirnexxilek issib tarf tal-problema u ssewwi ħajtek.

Għandi 1,000 memorja tagħha – il-biċċa l-kbira minnhom ma nistax nirrakkontahom. Imma hemm waħda li ma ninsiha qatt, meta b’leħinha miksur u għajnejha jixegħlu qaltli li kient saret nanna għall-ewwel darba. Għax, anke meta kient tixrob il-familja kienet importanti ħafna għaliha. U tathom kulma setgħet.

Imma li tathom tawhulha lura. Meta mardet daru qaqoċċa magħha u qatt ma kienet nieqsa mill-attenzjoni. Tlett ijiem ilu kont bilqiegħda d-dar tagħha ħdejn sodditha ma’ ħutha u neputija u l-għaqda u s-solidarjetà li rajt hennietli qalbi. Ħin minnhom ġiet f’tagħha, ratni u tbissmitli u, wara,  bdiet tiċċajta ma’ tal-familja. La krib, la qrid, la dwejjaq –avolja kulħadd kien jaf li t-tmiem kien fil-qrib. Kienu jafu x’kellha bżonn dak il-ħin u taw każ tal-bżonnijiet tagħha , mhux li jisfugaw l-ansjetà tagħhom. Ħriġt minn darha b’sens ta’ għaġeb – u gratitudni li assistejt għal xena li ma ninsiha qatt.

Bħalma qatt mhu se ninsa lil D. Mhux biss minħabba t-tlieta u għoxrin sena li ħdimt magħha u mhux biss għax fl-aħħar irnexxielha tieqaf tixrob u tieħu lura f’idejha r-riedni ta’ ħajjitha. Imma għax kelli l-privileġġ li nsir naf mill-qrib mara li batiet u kienet taf tħobb lil kulħadd. U mara li, wara snin twal, irnexxielha tifhem misteru milll-iktar profond: li jekk trid tgħix sew jeħtieġ l-ewwel u qabel kollox titgħallem tħobb lilek innifsek kif xieraq u kif suppost.

7305

Għoxrin sena ilu bħal-lum, raġel twil mar id-Detox Outpatients ifittex tabib. Kien għad kellu fuqu r-riħa tax-xorb taċ-ċelebrazzjonijiet tal-Millennju. Mhux għax qatt kellu bżonn xi skuża ta' xi festa jew oħra biex ilegleg il-whisky: kien jibda minn filgħodu kmieni u jibqa' sejjer sakemm jidħol id-dar filgħaxija. Ix-xogħol baqa' jmur u dmiru jagħmlu kif suppost, imma l-ħajja tal-familja kienet saret rovina. Il-mara xebgħet bit-toqol fuqha biss u tatu ultimatum: jew tieqaf, jew ninfirdu.

M irrealizza x'kien qed jiġri u wasal żmien li kuljum beda jwiegħed lilu nnifsu li l-għada ma jixrobx. Imma minħabba l-lublieba dik il-wegħda seta' jħożżha fil-whisky.

Kien fittex l-għajnuna ta' sedqa, imma għall-bidu kien kollu ta' xejn. Beda jaqta' qalbu: fuq kollox kien ilu jixrob iktar milli kellu żmien. Meta, iktar minn 66 sena ilu, ommu kienet tqila bih, marret għand it-tabib għax it-tarbija ta' ġo fiha ma kinitx tiċċaqlaq. It-tabib taha parir li tibda tixrob ftit alkoħol...

Trabba mdawwar bix-xorb u għall-alkoħol kien mikrum bil-kbir - minn dejjem. Ta' età ċkejkna kien diġà jixrob spiss. Anke ħuh intrikeb mill-marda.

Darbtejn ipprova jiġi għal-laqgħat li kont immexxi jien. Id-darbtejn kien taħt l-influwenza tax-xorb u d-darbtejn, kif daħal, tfajtu 'l barra.

Fit-2 ta' Jannar tal-2000, it-tabib li ra qallu li għandu bżonn ikun diżintossikat. Kull sena Dar l-Impenn, fejn issir id-diżintossikazzjoni, tkun magħluqa sat-3 ta' Jannar minħabba l-waqfa tal-Milied, imma minħabba s-Sur M dik is-sena reġgħet fetħet ġurnata qabel.

Ma kienx jemmen li xi darba għad jieqaf għalkollox. Jgħid sal-lum li l-ħsieb tiegħu kien li jieqaf għal ftit kemm isodd ħalq il-mara, u wara jerġa’ jibda .

Meta kien wasal biex jispiċċa d-diżintosikazzjoni, mar jarah ħaddiem ta’ sedqa, espert ta’ veru. Minn hawn u minn hemm ikkonvinċieh li jekk se jitlaq mingħajr ma jagħmel li kien hemm bżonn, kien sejjer jerġa’ jibda jixrob minnufih. U t-theddida tal-mara kienet għadha mdendla fuq rasu. Pjuttost kontra qalbu daħal jagħmel programm residenzjali. Kienu sħabu tal-programm li mbagħad ikkonvinċewh biex jieħdu bis-serjetà.

Minn dakinhar li M qatagħha li jmur ifittex tabib iktar biex jagħlaq ħalq il-mara milli biex jirranġa ħajtu tassew, għaddew 7305 jum – jekk tgħodd il-ġranet żejda tas-snin biżestili. Imma importanti li tgħoddhom dawk ukoll, għaliex il-mixja sa hawn saret – bħall-mixjiet kollha ta’ min inħeles mill-alkoħoliżmu jew minn xi dipendenza serja oħra – ġurnata b’ġurnata.

M jgħid li ħa deċiżjoni u qatt aktar mhu se jmiss qatra alkoħol ma’ ħalqu. U nifhmuh. Mejjet li rxoxta ma tantx se jersaq bil-ħsieb lejn dak li kien ħasadlu ħajtu. Imma M jaf wkoll kemm l-alkoħol jaf jidħaq bik, jurik id-debba u jqabbiżlek is-serp velenuż tal-ħajja mgħattna u mxajtna ta’ qabel. Għalhekk għadu sal-lum jattendi l-laqgħat: ma jmurx il-melodija li taf issaħħar tgħannilu għanja qarrieqa u ġġiegħlu jaħseb li issa l-problema marret u x-xorb kapaċi jikkontrollah.

Ħajjet M inbidlet bis-sħiħ. Meta jitkellem fuq kif kienet ħajtu u kif inhi llum sħabu jisimgħu b’attenzjoni għax ġarrab u qed jirbaħ. U miegħu ta’ madwaru, li ġarrbu wkoll, qed jirbħu bħalu. Mill-fdalijiet ta' li kien għad baqagħlu għoxrin sena ilu, fassal ħajja ġdida, sabiħa u siewja.

Hu jgħid li tgħallem ħafna mingħandna. Li ma jafx – jew ma japprezzax biżżejjed – hu kemm għallem lilna hu.