Some 13 years ago a burly man of 52
knocked on the door of our then offices in Lija. He smelt of alcohol,
but was perfectly coherent. He said he wanted to stop drinking. We normally take a dim view of people turning up unannounced
practically demanding help there and then since it disturbs
work with other clients
who attend sessions according to schedule. Luckily
one of our workers happened to be free and she assessed him, thus starting the
process which, within a few days, would lead to his being dried out.
He had decided to seek help practically on impulse when a friend had pointed out that he really should do something about his drinking and, almost to his surprise, he found himself agreeing. It had been previously suggested to him that he was drinking too much, but he had shrugged off all warnings. He himself could never explain what on earth had prompted him to listen to his friend’s advice that day. He often said that had he not found immediate help, he would have walked out probably never to return. Alcoholic thinking being what it is, he may very well have been right.
For the first five years or so,
he (and his wife) attended meetings very regularly. He would swagger in - the
picture of rude health - often a few minutes late, look at me apologetically, take
his seat and listen to the exchanges with rapt attention. His contributions
were simple and to the point. He had few vanities one of which was that he loved to
mention the prodigious amounts he used to drink and his body's ability to
tolerate alcohol.
Those amounts were what did for him. Despite never having touched another drop, the regular liver tests showed a deteriorating state of affairs. Eight years ago, the symptoms appeared. Soon he had to be admitted to hospital, the first of fifty or so admissions. The doctors did their best, but the cirrhosis could not be arrested. The impressively strong-looking man progressively deteriorated until his body became a shadow of its former self. His attendance at meetings became less regular, but often he would underline that there was only one thing to blame for his woes: the alcohol he had consumed. At times, the untypical anger in his voice seemed telling and it made you wonder whether he was seeking some form of catharsis with the repeated declarations about the cause of his predicament. It was almost as if, while warning his peers, he wanted to get his own back by publicly shaming the ethanol which had brought rack and ruin to his once-mighty frame.
Eventually
he had to stop coming to meetings altogether. We kept in touch through the occasional
phone-call. But last Christmas, quite unexpectedly, he turned up for our
Christmas dinner in a restaurant in Rabat.
Perhaps he had made the effort because he felt that there would not be many more
opportunities to meet his friends, who greeted
him with great pleasure.
Yesterday
morning he was laid to rest. Five or six of us were present at the Mass to pay
our last respects and comfort his distraught widow. We successfully accomplished
the first objective, but failed rather miserably with regard to the second one.
In the evening
we remembered him in our meeting; the relatively new members only knew the
weak man who seemed to spend more time in hospital than outside it; the older ones
clearly recollected the strong, amiable and kind-hearted family man who for
years was a regular and who impressed new group-members with his accounts of
his drinking – and the success of his efforts to stop when he decided it was
time to give it up. We all had our memories of him. Mine was the fact that in
hundreds of conversations he never ever called me by my full name; it was always
the shorter ‘’Man’’, rather than ‘’Manuel’’. We pondered the unanswerable
question of what would have happened had he stopped drinking a year earlier –
whether that would have helped his body avoid the development of the cirrhotic
liver which led to his premature death.
Inevitably,
the question of the urgency of policies
which help reduce the incidence of the sort of drinking associated with
addiction came up. Last year, after decades of waiting, the country seemed to
be well on the way towards publishing its first National Alcohol Policy – in November
2016 there was a public consultation – but, perhaps because of premature
elections the process was halted. The public document showed that the policy
envisaged is not quite what one was hoping for – but it was a start.
It’s time
to revive the process – and the duty to prod the authorities into breathing
life once again in the project befalls the community of those struggling with
drinking problems, their families and those who work with them once the official
bodies who should be publicly pushing for the formulation of a National
Alcohol Policy are silent on the matter.
The establishment of an NGO which, among other things, would help raise
consciousness about alcohol problems and bring pressure to bear on the authorities
to act and curtail abuse becomes more urgent with each passing day.
Rational national alcohol policies and all, there will be always be unlucky individuals
who will pass on in the same way as our friend. But we owe it to him and to the
others who have departed before their time because of alcohol-related problems
to do what we can to control this use of the substance which, in various ways,
is responsible for the deaths of tens of people in Malta every year, as well as for hundreds of hospitalisations and untold misery
for innumerable drinkers, family members and others.
Once he had stopped drinking our friend was all for helping others; had he been with us he would have gladly lent a hand.
Once he had stopped drinking our friend was all for helping others; had he been with us he would have gladly lent a hand.